When Middle Earth Writes Fanfiction
by The Wine Dude
Summary: Aragorn finds out Legolas' most shameful, darkest secret: he writes fanfiction. But not just any kind of fanfiction, of course, but the kind that would make any sensible person blush. And he's not the only one writing them...


**Yes, they have laptops in Gondor. **

"Legolas, return my laptop at once!" the King of Gondor's voice boomed, echoing throughout the castle.

"Please, wait just a moment more," responded the familiar voice of a certain elven lord from Ithilien.

"I am in need of access to the internet!" Elessar, also known as Aragorn, stormed into the room where he knew his friend was surfing around on the sleek, brand-new device. As he entered, the blond elf who occupied the room stood up, flustered.

Trying to cover up whatever he was doing on the computer, Legolas shielded the screen with his hands and protested, "W-wait, Estel!"

But Aragorn merely knocked those hands away.

"What on Arda are you doing with my lapto—!" His jaw dropped at the sight he was met with. _Fanfics._ Legolas was writing fanfics. Under the pen name "ImmortalElfPrince." All of which were categorized under "romance," featuring Sam and Frodo as the main characters. The former ranger browsed through title after title, each of them garnering hundreds of reviews.

"What is this?" demanded the man, proceeding to read off one of the summaries. "_'After the War, Frodo needs another soul to soothe his weary mind. Can his former gardener fulfill that role, or will he become someone of even greater importance? Slash ahead.'_ You write slash?"

Legolas stammered something incoherent.

Elessar continued to read aloud as the blond turned a deep shade of scarlet. "_'Sam and Frodo lay under the stars, contemplating the status of their relationship. Slash ahead.'_"

"Please, not so loudly!"

He had seen these kinds of stories before, some involving none other than himself. But the thought that his closest friend wrote these types of fanfics (even becoming a popular author!) did not even cross his mind.

"Legolas," he said very seriously, "will you explain to me what this is?"

The guilty elf rocked back and forth, eyes averted. "I...I write romantic stories...about Sam and Frodo."

"You what?"

"I... ship Sam and Frodo, mellon nîn."

"You what?" he repeated, unable to believe what he was hearing.

Legolas continued to fidget on his feet, hiding his face in his hands as he confessed his true thoughts. "If you could appreciate a love story once in a while, then you might agree that they make an adorable couple."

'You've betrayed the Ring-bearers to whom we all owe our lives!' thought Aragorn as the elf blathered on.

"_'Sam and Frodo hold each other in a loving embrace, the fires from depths of Mount Doom surrounding the master and gardener. Exhausted and relieved, but future uncertain, Frodo whispered into his companion's ear, "I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam."'_ I find it quite romantic," Legolas sighed, quoting from the fanfic that King Elessar had just clicked on.

The man gaped at his blond friend's confession. 'What are you, a lovesick human lad or an elf of a thousand years?' It was all too tempting to grab the elf by the collar. But instead, he facepalmed. "That sounds like a contrived plot for a movie adaption of The War of the Ring. You know that people ship the two of us, do you not? They ship you with Gimli, too. Why do you subject our good friends—the Ring-bearers who saved Middle Earth—to such treatment?"

"I have also read some of those stories and to be honest, they are not all that terrible, though you are often written as a gruff vagabond with an elf fetish." Aragorn spluttered at this, but Legolas just continued as if there was nothing strange about his behavior. "And since Frodo is in Valinor and Sam is too busy as the mayor of Hobbiton, they probably will never hear about my stories."

"Sweet Elbereth. I will never under—Lord Steward! How fares you?" The king attempted to save face at Faramir's arrival.

"My liege." Faramir bowed in greeting. "What is this I hear? Legolas writes fanfiction?"

Elessar smirked. Ignoring Legolas' horrified yelp, he beckoned for Faramir to look at his laptop screen.

"'To Save a Hobbit,'" read Faramir. "_'Sam must rescue his master from orcs before they take Frodo's honor.'_"

The former prince of Eryn Lasgalen once again buried his face in embarrassment as Faramir went through the list of stories. "These are... Legolas, you are the one who wrote these?"

The said elf nodded shamefully. "Faramir, Eowyn must not hear of this! I will never be at peace if she—"

"Hear of what?"

Speak of Morgoth. Of course, Legolas should have known the instant that Faramir made his appearance that Eowyn was not far behind.

"I heard something about fanfiction." The beautiful shield maiden looked over her husband's shoulder to get a glimpse of whatever commanded his attention. When she saw that he was merely browsing fanfiction dot net, Eowyn frowned. "Written by 'ImmortalElfPrince.' I was unaware that you were such a widely read author, Legolas. I can hardly get twenty reviews on my stories."

Faramir turned to his wife. "You write fanfiction as well?"

Eowyn grinned, a sly expression spreading across her features. "Yes. About King Elessar. And Legolas."

There was a dead silence. Eowyn chuckled; her male companions' faces were completely priceless.

Then Legolas piped up, "Wait, ones where we're the lead chara—"

"Oh no, ones that are steamy," she deadpanned. "And don't even get me started on Queen Arwen's stories about the three of you. They're also M rated."

The king, the prince, and the steward paled.

Somewhere in Minas Tirith, a figure hunched over her laptop, laughing maniacally. "Yes," Queen Arwen whispered as she typed up the last paragraph of her 46 chapter AragornxLegolasxFaramir threesome mpreg slash fic with over one thousand reviews. She wiped her bloody nose with the back of her sleeve. "My readers! Behold, the final chapter!"


End file.
